How Not to Get a Bookworm
by Wizards-Pupil
Summary: "Fred, you have a problem." George said in a bracing tone. I shook my head adamantly, I did not have a problem, I was just in love with the oblivious Hermione Granger. She was the girl I was going to marry. All I had to do was get her to say Hello.
1. Chapter 1: Gone With the Wind

Disclaimer: I do not now, nor have I ever, nor will I ever, own Harry Potter.

_A/N: Hiya, I'm back! This is going to be a bit of a more silly story, and It'll be completely in Fred's point of view. I've got another, longer story brewing, but I'm going to go ahead with this one while I work out the others kinks._

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_Scarlett: I only know that I love you.  
Rhett Butler: That's your misfortune._

_-Gone with the Wind_

"Hey Fred, would you hand me that box of Gabbing Gum?" George called from the front of the ship. I smiled to myself and set the clipboard I had been taking inventory of our stocks with down before I picked up the requested box of gum. I made my way to the front of the shop, dodging some of our more eager customers, until I reached my brother. I handed him the box and was about to offer to help him unpack it when I heard a loud ding sound from the left and I looked over at the door to see who was coming in on instinct.

It was the beautiful goddess who graced our shop with her presences every Friday, also known as Hermione Granger.

"Oh bloody hell." George's annoyed tone sounded to my right and I realized I had been staring at her. Who couldn't though? She had beautiful, long, soft, curly, brown, hair; full, pink, soft, pouty lips; soft, silky, creamy, skin; legs that were at least a mile long; and a figure that even those oversized dress robes couldn't hide.

"Earth to Freddie, come in Freddie." George said, stepping in front of me and blocking my view of the gorgeous witch. "You do realize you're drooling right?"

I narrowed my eyes, mock glaring at my twin while checking my reflection in the window. I wasn't drooling, well, not much anyway. I ran my hand through my shaggy ginger locks and straightened them up some, trying to make myself not look like I had just spent the last two hours stirring steaming potions. We needed to invent a product that would defriz potion hair, it be a best seller.

My eyes traveled back to the thankfully single witch and I watched her make her way to the wonder witch products. She and Ron had broken up over a year ago, they both had decided that they were better off as friends, thank Merlin for that. She'd moved in with my sister after graduating from Hogwarts, which meant I got to see her anytime the family got together. Unfortunately, she still thought of me as the annoying prankster. Since my life goal was to marry this beautiful goddess, that fact put a bit of a damper on my future. So, I was now currently working on plan 'win Hermione Granger over'-I just had no idea what that plan would entail. I also had no help from my twin, who just found my, and these are his word, not mine, obsession, over Hermione humorous, so I was having to wing it.

"Fred, when did this even happen? When did you start going gaga over Hermione bleeding Granger?"

"You remember, you were there."

"Really?" He asked, and amused glint in his eyes. "When Fred?"

"Fine," I said, flushing, I didn't need any reason for George to tease me, he was already having far too much fun teasing me about Hermione as was. I glanced behind his shoulder where Hermione was, she'd finally made it over to the wonder witch products and I saw my chance to talk to her and I decided to take it.

"Sorry Georgie, can't talk now, my destiny awaits!" I pushed my way beside him and fairly near ran to the pretty witch, ignoring George's cat calls behind me. I'd get him later; color changing potion in his shampoo right before he went on a date with Verity wouldn't be a bad idea.

"Hi 'Mione!" I called, stepping up behind the pretty witch. She jumped slightly; dropping the pygmy puff treats she'd been holding and spinning around to face me. She was frowning, a nervous look on her sweet face. She looked up at me with her eyes, her big, brown, doe, eyes, and I felt my heart flutter.

"Fred, I'm just picking up some pygmy puff treats for Arnold." Thank Merlin for Arnold and his addiction to our treats. If it wasn't for him she'd never set foot in this store. A small thrill rushed through me at the use of my correct name, it never ceased to amaze me that she could tell George and me apart.

'Here," I said, handing her a small box of the treats. "It's on the house." She looked at me oddly, an unsure look on her face.

"Really? You don't have too."

"Go on, take it." I insisted, pressing the package into her hand. She took it, gracing me with a small smile.

"Thanks Fred." She gave me one more small smile before leaving the shop, her curly hair bouncing as she walked. I let out an appreciative sigh and almost jumped when I felt George wrap his arm around my shoulder.

"Fred, you have a problem." George said in a bracing tone. I shook my head adamantly, watching her walk down the street towards the bookshop she was currently working at.

"I do not." I replied, my voice wistful. She disappeared from my sight and I slouched a little bit, sad that I'd have to wait another week to see her again.

"You're obsessing over a bookworm." George said in a tone one uses to talk to someone who is in denial, I most certainly was not.

"I am not, and stop calling her that. She's not a bookworm, she just likes to read."

"Did she put a spell on you?"

"George."

He held his hands up, fighting a laugh. "I'm sorry, it's just so funny. You, you of all people falling for Hermione Granger! She can't stand us."

"George, that's the girl I'm going to marry." I replied, announcing my plan.

"Marry?" George exclaimed, his voice going up an octave with disbelief as he twisted me to face him. "Are you serious?"

"Yes," I replied in a determined tone. "I'm going to get her to say I do." George's eyes widened and then he let out a _loud, _long, laugh.

"I do?" He asked, snorting as he fought another laugh, it really wasn't that funny. "You can't even get her to say hello!" I huffed at that. That was a small problem, I didn't have time to sweat the details.

"Mark my words Brother O' mine," I said, poking him in the chest with my index finger. "Hermione Granger is going to say I do to me."

I just had to get her to say hello.

No problem.

Right?

_A/N: I'm going to try something new, I'm giving each chapter a title from a book or play or poem, and then I'm going to use a quote from it at the beginning of the chapter. Let me know what you think, and I hope you enjoy. This story will probably only be about eight chapters, but it might be longer depending on plot ideas._

_Michief Managed,_

_-Wizards Pupil_


	2. Chapter 2:The Cat in the Hat

_Then our mother came in And she said to us two, 'Did you have any fun? Tell me. What did you do?' And Sally and I did not know what to say. Should we tell her The things that went on there that day? Well what would you do, if your mother asked you?–Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat._

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Alright, stage one of my plan 'Get Hermione to say I do' was officially going to be started tonight. Harry and Ron had just completed their Auror training, and we were having a party at our flat tonight to celebrate. We'd invited Hermione, Ginny, Luna, and Verity as well. Since Ginny was dating Harry, Luna was dating Ron, and Verity was dating George, that left just Hermione and me without dates, which meant we'd be paired up in any games we might play.

The fact that I had planned out the guest list and the game list had nothing what so ever to do with this incredible coincidence. It was just happenchance. Really, would I lie?

I wouldn't answer that either.

Anyway, she was arriving in half an hour, and I could not get my hair to stay flat on my head. It just kept sticking up in a bad imitation of Harry. I really needed to work on something to help my potion hair. Even charms weren't working against my crazy locks. I finally just coerced it to the side and left the bathroom, deciding that if it messed back up, it'd just be better if I didn't know about it. I checked out my jeans and green button up shirt one more time, making sure they were both smooth and wrinkle free before I left my room and went to help George set up the refreshments. We'd actually refrained from pranking anything, George had wanted to put shrinking potion in the punch, but I'd gotten him to promise not too after begging on my knees. Never let it be said that Fred Weasley is too proud to beg. I was not letting anything ruin tonight. I was going to get Hermione to agree to go out on a date with me, and we'd get started on our future that I had all planned out.

We put a few finishing touches on the refreshments and then kicked back and waited for the guest to arrive. The doorbell finally rang at a quarter to six. I hopped up from the couch and began fussing nervously with my clothes. George walked pass me towards the door, shaking his head as he stared at me.

"Pathetic!" he exclaimed, starring at me with annoyed eyes as I tried to flatten my hair. "You have got to get a grip on yourself!"

"Just open the door."

"Fine." He said, reaching for the door knob. He gave it a small twist and popped the door open, stepping back to let Ginny and the gorgeous Hermione into our flat. Ginny gave George a hug before coming over to me and hugging me.

"Hi George, Fred." Hermione said, stepping into the flat and giving George a half hug. I smiled eagerly, hoping she'd come give me a hug, but she stepped pass me into our living room and sat down on a couch next to Ginny. George snorted at the crestfallen look on my face and then held up his hands in mock surrender when I glared at him. I looked back at Hermione and only then realized that she was holding Crookshanks.

"I hope you two don't mind, I brought Crookshanks because he's been acting a little strangely and I wanted to keep my eye on him."  
"No, no problem." I said quickly, cutting George off before he could say anything. He hated the half cat, he felt like the cat was always trying to ruin our pranks. Admitably, it was always foiling our plans, and did have an odd taste for extendable ears. Still, Hermione loved the half cat, so I was going to try and be pals with it. I wasn't above using potions or spells on it either, if that's what it'd take.

"Harry and Ron'll be over in about twenty minutes." George said, sitting down on the other couch. I hesitated for a moment before sitting beside Hermione on the couch. George stared at me with wide blue eyes that were clearly fighting back a laugh. I ignored him and turned towards Hermione.

"How's everything at Flourish and Blotts?" Crookshanks lifted his flat head off of Hermione's lap and glared at me, a faint growl emanating from his throat.

"It's going great, we just got a new shipment of books from Egypt in this week." Her chocolate eyes were sparkling and she had the most adorable grin on her face as she spoke.

"Neat, what are they about?" I asked, ignoring George's snicker and Crookshanks faint growl.

"Ancient curses, Mr. Blott is letting me examine them before he sells them." She said eagerly, leaning forward in her seat as she talked. I shifted in my seat, scooting minutely closer to her, and Crookshanks went berserk. He hopped off of her lap and flew at me, landing on my face and sinking his extremely sharp claws into my hair and neck. I yelped in pain, reeling backwards, and flipped off the couch, accidentally, and yes, it was an accident, sending Crookshanks flying. He flipped through the air, flying over the couch George was sitting on, and right onto the head of Luna Lovegood, who had just arrived. He clawed at her hat, a strange purple thing that looked like an overripe apple sitting on her head, and slipped, pulling the hat down with him. He landed on the floor with a dull thud and promptly let out an extremely exaggerated yowl of pain.

Hermione shot out of her chair and ran to his side, picking his limp form off the floor and holding him close to her chest.

"Fred Weasley!" She accused her voice squeaky with anger. Crookshanks just snuggled into her hold and snickered at me. Yes, a cat can most definitely snicker.

"What are you yelling at him for?" George asked, standing up from his chair and walking over to me. I was lying on the floor trying to get my breath back from where I had landed, and then fallen off, the coffee table. He held his hand out to me and I gripped it, letting him pull me up. My neck and head were both throbbing, and I could feel something warm and wet trailing down my head. I wiped at it with the back of my hand, realizing it was blood with surprise. Okay, George was right, the cat was bad news.

Hermione was still yelling at me, but I hadn't realized it until that moment. I was too lost in the way her curls were flying around her face like mad. Her eyes had narrowed and darkened, turning the color of dark chocolate. While she was pretty when she was happy, she was flat out hot when she was mad.

"Umm, did we miss something?" Harry's voice came from the door way, where Ron was laughing behind him.

"No," Hermione said, lifting her head from Crookshanks for the first time and glaring at me. "I was just leaving, I'm taking Crookshanks home." Her eyes widened as she looked at me and her glare instantly switched to a look of horror. Her beautiful brown eyes filled with tears and she turned around, heading towards the door. I realized what she said and lunged forward, grabbing her by the arm and turning her back around.

"No," I yelped, "don't leave. I'm sorr-YOW!" The stupid cat clawed at the hand I had on her arm and hissed at me, baring his fangs and letting the hair on his back stand up. I jerked my hand back and shook it in the air, fighting the urge to curse as I saw yet more blood on it. Hermione's eyes grew even wider and tears fell from them as she looked down at Crookshanks in shock.

"No, I've got to go, he's not well!" She exclaimed, backing up and heading towards the door.

"Congratulations Harry, Ron, I'll see you tomorrow." And then she was gone and I was left with a ruined plan and a bunch of cuts.

I was going to kill that cat.

_A/N: He-he, that was fun! I couldn't help but bring Crookshanks into the mix, I always imagined he wouldn't have been too nice to any potential boyfriends. Hope you like this chapter, and thanks for taking the time to review, it means a lot to me :D_


	3. Chapter 3: A Comedy of Errors

_Farewell till then. I will go lose myself, and wander up and down to view the city-William Shakespeare _

* * *

I was depressed. Not only had my wonderful plan blown up in my face last night, but I also had to endure _hours_ of teasing from George on account of it. Now, to top it all off, it was Friday, and Hermione had not come in. She always came in during her lunch break to pick up Arnold's treats, and today she hadn't. I was sure it was all my fault, and couldn't think of anyway to fix it. So, now I was dateless, listless, and scratched up.

Apparently Crookshanks, the cat kneazle hybrid, had magical claws that made it where his scratches couldn't be fixed magically, so I was having to walk around looking like someone had used me as a knife sharpener.

Well, at least we had tomorrow off, granted, thanks to last night I didn't have a date, but at least I wouldn't have to make any potions.

"It's your turn for a lunch break." George called from the break room. I looked up from the register to the clock hanging over the door. It was one thirty, my lunch break.

"Want to relieve me?" I called to him, leaning my head back and yelling into the back room. I heard a crash, a shuffle, and then a door slam. George appeared out of the back a moment later, covered in feathers and wearing a sheepish grin.

"Sure."

"Do I even want to know?"

"No, you really don't."

"Sure?" I asked, fighting a smile. "Because it looks like it was really funny."

"Your lunch hour is ticking away."

"I haven't even clocked out yet." I replied, laughing as he picked a feather out of his hair.

"I clocked you out."

"Fine, I can take a hint." I said, still smiling. "I think I'm going to go for a walk."

"You're not going to eat?" George asked, dropping his hands from his hair and looking at me in shock. Weasley men never skipped a meal, it was unheard of.

"No, I'm not really hungry." It was true, ever since last night I'd been anything but hungry. "I really just want to get some fresh air."

"Yeah right. Okay, go for a walk then." George said, stepping up beside me and taking my place at the register. "Just try and stay away from crazy cats."

I stuck my tongue out at him as I left the shop. It was a nice day, just warm enough that you didn't need a jacket, but cool enough that you wanted to wear long sleeves. The sun was shining and there wasn't a cloud in the sky. I'm sure birds were even chirping somewhere. I set off down the alley, burying my hands deep in my robe pockets as I walked. I let myself get loss in the hustle and bustle of the afternoon crowd, listening to the crazy conversations swirling around me and staring at the bright goods for sale. I wasn't watching where I was going, just letting my feet take me where they wanted. So, as you can imagine, I was a little surprised when I found myself outside of Flourish and Blotts.

Well, since I'd made the trip over here, I might as well check it out, right? I took a step forward and went into the shop I frequently visited (I really did, they had a great selection of potion and charm books, they may have had a few joke books as well. Not that I ever looked at those.) I let my eyes drift around the shop, not looking for anything, or anyone in particular, and stopped looking when my eyes caught sight of a bushy haired sales assistant.

A grin lit up my face and I stepped forward, grabbing some random books off the first shelf I reached and stepping into her checkout line. The witch in front of me paid for her books and I stepped up, laying the books down on her counter.

"Hey, Hermione."

"Fred, what are you doing here?" Hermione asked, her eye growing wide as she looked at me. Her eyes shot to my forehead and then my neck, the places her berserker cat had attacked me. Don't think I had forgotten about him, I had my revenge all planned out. I just needed some radishes, pudding, and a lot of magic.

"I'm just buying some books." I said, giving her my best winning smile. "I'm sorry about last night, I really didn't mean to hurt Crookshanks." Next time I saw him though, it would be on purpose. I'd wipe that smirk off his furry face.

"No, it wasn't really your fault, I have no idea what made him attack you last night. He's usually really friendly." Crookshanks? Friendly? Ha, that was like saying dragons were cuddly. Crookshanks hated anyone but Hermione.

"Maybe he was just feeling purrsnickety." I said, smiling, even though it was an awful joke. She looked up at me, rolling her eyes, but a small smile lifted her perfect lips.

"Are you going to chat or check him out?" A wizard asked behind me, his voice angry. I looked over my shoulder and shot him a pointed glare. I was finally getting Hermione to talk to me, and this bloody bloke was trying to break it up.

"Sorry." Hermione said, flushing a bright pink. She picked up the first book and for the first time I saw it's title. "How to Train Your House-Elf." Merlin's beard, how the bloody hell had I picked that book out of all the books in this building? That was probably the only one that would make her mad, my only hope was that she wouldn't read the title. She opened the cover and read the price tag before shutting it and looking at the front cover. Her eyes narrowed and she set the book aside with a fierce frown.

Merlin, why me?

She picked up the next book and scanned its title, her face softened slightly. My eyes shot to the title and I felt myself let out a puff of air. It was better, "How to Clean Your Cauldron's Professionally." Thankfully, I'd only grabbed two books. Maybe I could still save this. She thrust the books in a bag and handed it to me.

"I hope you don't mind, I put it on your tab, Mr. Weasley."

Mr. Weasley?

I tripped the wizard on my way out.


	4. Chapter 4: The Arctic Incident

_Holly: "We're not giving up, Artemis. We're regrouping. There's a difference. We'll be back. Remember, it's always darkest before dawn."  
Artemis: "What dawn? We're in the Arctic, remember."- Eoin Colefer_

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"I have a new plan, are you doing anything tonight?" I asked George, stepping up behind him as he stirred our supper. It was green and bubbling ominously. A strange smell was issuing from it and it was starting to stick to his spoon. "Umm, what is that?"

"Leftovers. No, I don't have any plans."

"Leftover what and from when? Awesome, you can come skate with me." I replied, leaning over his shoulder to look at the odd green stuff.

"No idea, it was the only thing in the fridge. What's skating?" Was George's instant reply, he kept stirring the stuff. It was starting to work its way up the spoon.

"So, Leaky Cauldron to go sound good? It's a muggle pastime." I answered, poking a fork at the green mushy leftovers.

"Yeah, how about we order the soup? What kind of a muggle pastime?" George asked, trying to pull the spoon out of the pot, the green stuff had really latched on to it.

"Yeah, I think tonight's soup is cheddar. It's a sport of sorts. You slide around on ice with special shoes." I answered, stepping around him and grabbing hold of the pot while he pulled the spoon. We played a round of tug-of-war before the spoon and green stuff went flying behind George, and I fell into the stove. A crash sounded from the living room and I righted myself stepping up next to George. He was staring into the living room with wide eyes.

"Are you flooing or am I?" He asked, eyes still on the dark living room, there was an odd squelching noise coming from it.

"I'll floo, you can take care of that." I said, and then I ran for the fireplace, George right behind me.

{}{}{}

"You want me to do what in these things?" George asked, staring at the knife tipped shoes in disbelief. I wasn't feeling any surer, but I had the image of Hermione's chocolate eyes in my head to get me up. Besides, if all those kids could do it, it shouldn't be a problem for George and me. With this positive, albeit extremely misguided thought, I grabbed the guard rails and pulled myself up, and fell promptly back down onto the extremely hard and cold ice. That would leave a bruise.

George's bright laughter rang out behind me, making me flush as I hastily tried to pull myself back up. My knifed shoes weren't cooperating though, and I kept slipping. I finally managed to right myself, and held onto the guard rail, locking my legs in place so I wasn't moving.

"Let's see you do any better, Georgie." I said, slowly turning around on the spot. George paled slightly but stood up determinedly anyway.

"Alright, I'll do it." He stood still for a moment, a triumphant look on his face, and then he fell down into a tangle of long limbs.

"Not so easy is it, Georgie?" He pulled himself up by the bench before attempting to stand again.

"Blimey, now that's embarrassing." He said once he was standing beside me, clutching onto the guard rail. "We are being shown up by kids, and they're all little ones at that."

"Now that's not true, that bloke over there is at least ten." I said, pointing out a brown haired boy that was doing some sort of twirly thing.

"Why are we here?" George asked, looking around the 'rink' with his mouth open. "Wait," he said, whipping his head back to me, his eyes narrowed in suspicion. "This is about 'Mione!"

"Yes." Was my instant and unashamed reply. "She loves this 'skating' thing, so I'm going to learn how to do it."

"You've got to be kidding me."

"Not in the least. I am going to learn how to skate for those beautiful brown eyes and that quick wit." I edged myself closer to the gate that would let us out on the ice. "Now come on, I only have tonight to learn how to skate. She's going to be here tomorrow. The rink closes at ten."

"You mean to tell me that you are standing on this ice with knives taped to your shoes because of 'Mione?"

"Yes, exactly."

"You're mental. You're more hopeless than I originally thought."

"I am not, this is going to be brilliant!"

He gave me a sidelong look, the one that meant he was so sure I was wrong that he just couldn't wait to let me find out the hard way. I ignored him and just moved my feet.

I made it about halfway around the rink and my arms were starting to kill me. I was using them to pull myself around the rink by the guard rail. I was being passed by kids left and right, but I was ignoring them. I was ignoring them and their constant laughter, I was not that funny.

"You know," George said from right behind me. "This really isn't all that bad." His voice drew nearer, and then I felt someone pass me on the right. I looked over and saw George skating in front of me. He wasn't holding onto the wall any more, he was actually skating.

"How are you…" He was already gone by the time I asked the question. That just brought embarrassment to a whole new level. My own twin was skating circles around me.

"Fred?" A lighter more musical voice asked behind me. I stopped pulling myself along the wall and turned myself around, moving my weight around so that I was leaning against the wall on one arm. I was actually holding myself up with it, my legs were already starting to slip out from underneath me. Hermione was standing in front of me with a beaming Harry right behind her.

Merlin, please just kill me now.

Harry did not take her out skating tonight when he promised me he was going to tomorrow. He did not take her out tonight after promising me he wouldn't until tomorrow. I was learning how to skate tonight so I could impress her with my mad skills, not so I could trip in front of her.

"Hey Hermione!" I said, ignoring Harry and his big grin. I put on my best winning smile, trying to stop my arm from shaking as it supported all my weight. "Fancy meeting you here!"

"I didn't know you could skate." She said, smiling softly.

"Harry was talking about it the other night, and I thought it sounded like fun." Was my reply, I was lying through my teeth, but hey, she was worth it. Hopefully she would skate away before she saw just how much I was lying.

"Do you know how to?" She asked, her voice soft and airy.

"No." I admitted honestly, cringing internally as yet another plan died before my eyes.

"Hey!" Harry exclaimed, making me jump and almost fall down. "Why don't you show him how, Hermione?" Hermione's eyes grew wider and an adorable blush lit her cheeks. I shot Harry a thankful look, instantly forgetting it was his dumb fault I was in this predicament.

"I'd love that." I said before she had a chance to refuse. I had to speak quickly because I was also mere seconds from slipping and falling flat on my face.

"Okay." She said softly, skating closer to me. She took my hand in hers and indicated I should give her my other one. I slowly released it from the wall, trembling as I tried to stay up right. She grabbed that hand too, and then slowly skated backwards, pulling me with her. She kept talking, giving me basic instructions on what do, almost all of which I missed because I was too caught up in the way her lips moved when she spoke and the way her hips swayed when she skated away.

I fell down at least a dozen times, but she kept helping me up. It was embarrassing, but I'd have done anything to keep holding her hand and skating with her.

"Okay, let's try one hand." She said after a few laps. She let go of my right hand and skated over so that we were side by side. I lost my balance, thrown off by her nearness, and I fell, pulling her with me this time. I collided with the hard, unforgiving, ice and she landed beside me, half on top of me and half on the hard ice. She let out a whimper of pain and snatched her hand back. She pulled her hand to her chest, crying openly. She pulled herself up and I tried to get up to, but I just fell back down. She skated away, crying as she clutched her hand. Harry appeared out of nowhere and pulled her too him, glaring at me. He examined her hand before giving me a disapproving glare.

"I think you've cracked your wrist. Come on, I'll take you home." The two of them skated away, and I tried to get up, just to fall back down. They left the rink hand in hand, and she was still crying.

"Need some help, Fred?" George asked, skating up to me. I looked up at him and glared as he grinned down at me.

"Don't even start."

_A/N: This is my favorite chapter so far :) The green stuff was from a memory I had of my brother cooking dinner for me while he was in College. It was really funny xD_


	5. Chapter 5: Wings

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"If your clothes are enough to drive would-be friends away, they're not the kind of friends you want."

_Typical mother advice. Sweet, honest, and completely useless." — Aprilynne Pike (Wings)_

* * *

I was getting desperate, nothing I was doing seemed to be bringing Hermione Granger any closer to liking me, actually, our relationship had gotten worse since I'd started. I'd also gained a plethora of injuries, and not just to my pride. My entire body was covered in bruises from the disastrous ice skating attempt, and I also still had cuts from Crookshanks. Today though, all of that would change. Today was the first annual Weasley cookout, (some muggle thing Harry suggested) and I was going to get Hermione to go out with me.

Even if I had to beg on my knees, it wasn't the first time I'd have done it. I'd been begging to George far too much recently.

So, she was coming over today for lunch, and i couldn't have been more excited. Or prepared, today, I was pulling out all the stops. I was going to get her to go out with me, or at least say Hello. Bill, Charlie, Percy, Ron, Harry, Ginny, Luna, Verity, Fleur, Brianna, Penelope, Mum, Dad, George, and myself would all be at the cookout today, so I'd have no time alone, but I could possibly get her alone, because once again we would be the only ones without dates. This was an extremely happy coincidence on my part. Okay, it was an extremely happy plan quite literally on my part. I'd almost begged mum only to invite couples, not that there was anyone in my family but me that was single.

By choice of course.

So, aside from the fact that Mum was now extremely suspicious of my motives, everything was in place for a wonderful afternoon of fun and Hermione.

Well, of fun anyway. There was guaranteed to be at least one quidditch game. I just hope I get on Hermione's team. She was a rubbish flyer, mostly because she disliked flying, but it'd give me an excuse to hang near her.

Well that's what I had hoped, but once again my brilliant plan was ruined. This time, it was her own doing. We split up into teams, George and I were both on Charlie's team while Bill had Ron and Harry, when Hermione offered to referee the match. Meaning she would be spending the entire time on the ground, not in the air with me. I needed a new plan, and pronto.

"George!" I whispered, grabbing my broom and getting ready to fly. He turned towards me and leaned closer.

"What?" He whispered back, looking slightly worried.

"I need you to hit me with the bludger."

"Are you mad?" He asked, hopping on his broom and shooting me a glare. "I'm not going to injure you just because you have an unhealthy obsession with a book worm."

"I do not have an obsession, and I just want to spend some time with her! All I need for you to do is give me a small injury, that way I can sit the game out and join her. Come on, you can do it. Besides, you owe me." I said, pulling out my trump card. George raised his eyebrow and looked at me disbelievingly.

"No I don't."

"Yes you do, I closed the shop without you last week so that you could go out with Verity."

"You have to be joking." George said, shaking his head and looking genuinely worried. "You really want me to hit you?"

"No, I want you to send the bludger at someone, and I'll just get in the way."

"No one will buy that, they'll think I did it on purpose, or you did. We work to well together."

"Then blame it on the sun, I don't care, just send it my way."

"Alright." George said, shaking his head. "You know, it would be a whole lot easier to just ask the girl out on a date."

"What would be the fun in that?"

{}{}{}

All I had to do was sit still and wait for George to hit the Bludger at me. No problem, just sit still and watch the hard, enchanted ball hit me.

WHAM

The ball was a lot bigger than it had looked, and stung a lot more than I thought it would. It hit me right on the shoulder, and I instantly started to fall of my broom. My arm felt like it was on fire, and it was hanging limply by my side. I tried to lower my broom down to the ground, but I couldn't steer it. Stars filled my vision, and I felt myself start to fall, I was at least thirty meters in the air.

This was going to really hurt, and it was going to be in a lame attempt to talk to Hermione Granger.  
I closed my eyes and braced myself to hit the hard ground when I suddenly felt myself stop midair. My arm fired up in more pain, and I nearly screamed at the feel of it.

Wait, why hadn't I hit the ground yet?

I forced my eyes open, fighting the pain in my arm, and saw a blur of green about half a meter in front of me. I was hovering in mid air, someone had stopped me from hitting the ground. I moved my head slowly, giddy with relief, and light headed from pain, to see Hermione holding her wand in front of me. She had stopped me, she'd saved me from what would have been an extremely painful collision. She gently lowered her wand, having me lower to the ground slowly. A moment later I was surrounded by red heads. I did not want to be surrounded by my brothers, I wanted to be surrounded by Hermione. I couldn't even see her bushy hair, and that was saying something.

I was picked up, despite my constant protest, and carried towards the Burrow. They were actually caring me, like not even letting me touch the ground. I once again found a whole new level of embarrassment. If I ever regained the use of my right arm, I'd hex that stupid grin off George and Harry's face. It would have taken all of a minute to repair my arm with magic.

"What happened?" Mum demanded the minute I got carried into the Burrow.

"It was a bludger accident. I'm fine, just need a little help." They laid me down on the couch and I hissed in pain as my arm contacted with the cushion. "Maybe a little skelegrow too."

"Everyone out." She ordered, whipping her wand out and coming towards me. My brothers, my friends, all paled and backed up, heading towards the door. That was sad; my mother could scare off every guy in the house. Then again, my father could too. Now that I think of it, both my parents were pretty scary.

So, I was now alone on the couch, with just my mother and her wand. She touched it to my shoulder gently, a soft look in her eyes.

"You know, you really didn't have to get yourself hurt to get Hermione to go out with you." She said quietly as she mended my arm. Merlin, she knew what I was planning.

Was it really possible for me to get any more embarrassed?

"I'm not trying to get her to go out with me, I was just playing a game." I said, lying through my teeth yet again. It had never worked with her before, but hey, why not try.

"Don't lie to me." She said sitting down in front of me on the coffee table. "You like her, I can tell." A smile lifted her lips and she got a sparkle in her eye. "It's adorable really."

Great, my mum thought I was adorable. Merlin, she was going to try and help!

I wonder if it would be too drastic to just jump in the lake and drown myself there by ending all the ever increasing embarrassment.

"I think I know of a way to help."

Really? "What do you have in mind?" I asked, cringing when she lit up even more. This was so not a good thing.

"You could ask her out, I'm sure she'd say yes."

I could practically hear George laughing .


	6. Chapter 6: Persuasion

"_A man does not recover from such a devotion of the heart to such a woman! He ought not; he does not." - Jane Austen, Persuasion_

_

* * *

_

I had officially passed desperate with flying colors. I was now well on my way to frantic. Nothing was working for me, nothing was getting Hermione any closer to saying hello, let alone I do.

Failure, however, was not an option. I was Fred Gideon Weasley, I did not fail. Much anyway.

What I really needed was a new plan, a better, foolproof plan. Luckily I had all day to work on it, today was Friday, and Hermione was going to be picking up those pygmy puff treats. I was working in the backroom on potions, we'd run out of our wonder witch supplies. I was supposed to be making pimple remover but I was trying something different instead. I was trying out a new potion, my own invention, a defriz potion. Hermione would love it, and I'd finally get her to notice me.

I checked my ingredients again and added another, crumpet horn. It was explosive, but also had the ability to make things silky. A timer went off beside me and I jumped, tripping on the cauldron before I fell backwards into the shelf of potions. They crashed around me, covering me in thick liquid and causing a burning sensation to shoot across my body. I yelped in surprise and pain, and the door behind me burst open as another box fell on top of me.

Feathers. Why did we even have feathers back here, and why couldn't they stay in their box?

George let out a loud laugh, shaking with the force of them as he looked down at me. I stood up shaking my head.

"What happened?" He asked.

"Don't ask, I'm not even sure. Is she here yet?" I said, standing up and shaking off my robes. I froze when I brushed the feathers away and looked at my hand in annoyance, it was turning purple. Perfect, this so would not strike a positive note with Hermione. I looked like a git, and a dumb one at that.

"Yeah, she just got here. Some blokes with her, I recognized him but couldn't remember his name."

"What?" I yelped, pushing past him and heading to the actual store.

"Umm, are you sure everything's okay back here?" George asked following me out into the shop.

"Yes." Of course I wasn't, but some bloke was with my Hermione.

I ran out to the front of the shop, Hermione was at the checkout with her treats, Terry Boot, the little git, was right behind her, talking animatedly. Verity was checking them out.

"Hermione!" I said, trying not to make it sound upset. I slid in beside Verity at the checkout and smiled in my most winning way.

"Hello Fred, how are you today?" She asked, looking me up and down. I smiled again and tried to ignore the fact that I was turning purple. A slightly giddy feeling filled me up as I realized she had said 'hello' to me, I had actually gotten Hermione to say hello!

"I'm great, just working on some potions."

"How's that going?"

"Wonderfully."

"Great, well, I have to go. I've got to get back to Flourish's, I'm training Terry." She said, indicating the Ravenclaw. "We just stopped to get the treats before we went for a coffee." She smiled excitedly and grabbed the treats. She turned back towards the exit and started towards it. I jumped over the counter, knocking over a display of skiving snackboxes on George, he'd finally come out of the backroom clutching a broom and was trying to sweep up the feathers I was dropping.

She was walking towards the door, leaving me and my shop with Terry. He turned around as they left, giving me a smirk as he placed his hand on Hermione's back.

That was it, the last straw. I was not losing Hermione here, in my own shop, to some jerk faced little git. Not after everything, I was bruised, broken, and bleeding, and so help me, Hermione Granger was going to go out with me and she was going to say I do!

"Hermione!" I yelled after her retreating back. Half the people in the store turned towards me but I didn't care. I was turning purple, covered in feathers, and growing green hair, but I didn't care. I was past caring. I was madly in love with this witch, and she was going to hear me out. No more hints, not after this. I was going to come straight out and ask her. She stopped walking forward and turned back around to face me, her black robes swirling around her.

"What Fred?" She asked, her voice weary and worn out, so very different from her usual bossy, musical tone. She looked sad and wary.

"Will you go out with me?" I asked, finally following the advice of George and my mother. George was standing over to my right at the moment. He was still holding the broom and was still covered in puking pastilles. His mouth had dropped open and he was staring at me in complete shock. Smoke was billowing out the door of the back room and it was starting to swirl around me. I didn't move though, I wasn't moving until Hermione answered me.

"Are you joking?" She asked, her voice confused and disbelieving. I shook my head, smiling at the irony of all this. I'd been busting my butt to get her to realize I liked her this last month, and she thought I was joking. It was too much, this whole thing was too much.

"No, Hermione, I am not joking. I am crazy about you, I've been trying to get you to notice me this past month. Didn't you notice?" I asked, taking a small step forward. The entire store was listening to us now.

She took a step forward, a bewildered look on her face. "Fred, what are you talking about?"

I laughed at that, she'd not noticed. I'd been making a right arse of myself in an attempt to impress her, and she hadn't even noticed! "I invited you over to our house for dinner, I tried to talk to you while you were working, I tried to learn how to skate for you, I tried to referee with you during quidditch, and I even just tried to make a potion to defriz hair." I said, recalling all the disastrous plans of the last month. Had I really been that pathetic? Merlin, George was right about me. "I'm really crazy about you, Hermione Granger." I finished, cringing as an explosion sounded behind me. I really shouldn't have added the crumpet horn.

"Fred, I don't even know what to say to that." She said softly, still looking disbelieving, but slightly hopeful as well. I could be mistaken though, I really wanted her to look hopeful.

"Say yes, say you'll go out with me. One date, that's all I'm asking for." I responded quickly, taking another small step forward.

"I-" She started, looking unsure. Oh well, I was going down in flames anyway, I might as well go all out.

"I'm madly in love with you Hermione." I said. George dropped the broom and an audible gasp sounded from somewhere behind me. Merlin, I'd forgotten there were still customers in the store.

"What?" She stuttered, stepping back and looking shocked. Terry stepped towards her and set his arm on her shoulder. She shook it off impatiently and came towards me.

"Fred, are you being completely serious?" Her face was unreadable and her voice blank.

"Yes," I said without hesitation. She seemed to be finally getting what I was talking about.

"Then I have something to tell you." She said, stepping up right in front of me. She raised her hands and laid them on my shoulders, pushing herself up to her tip toes.

"I'm crazy about you too." She said softly, her chocolate eyes sparkling. She closed the distance between our faces and planted a soft, sweet kiss on my lips. It was pure heaven, I had found my new favorite past time, kissing Hermione. I brought my hands around her waist and gripped her tightly, pulling her too me as I deepened the kiss. My other hand found it's way into her incredible soft, curly, hair and I felt her move her own hand to finger my ginger locks. A catcall sounded to my right from George, followed by an outburst of applause all around us and I pulled back from Hermione, blushing and beaming.

"So," I said, smiling as she blushed. "was that a yes to the date?" She laughed at that and lowered her arms to my waist, hugging me.

"Definitely."


	7. Chapter 7: Snow White

_With a smile and a song life is just like a bright sunny day. Your cares fade away, and your heart is young.-Snow White_

* * *

"Do you, Fred Gideon Weasley, take this witch to be your magically and lawfully wedded wife?" Percy asked the question in a serious voice, but his sparkling eyes gave away his excitement. I was smiling like an idiot, I couldn't get over the fact that it had all panned out, I was actually at the altar with Hermione Granger. She was marrying me because she loved me, I hadn't drugged her, charmed her, or even begged, she'd just said yes.

"I do." I said quickly, and extremely eagerly, which caused Hermione to smile even wider by my side. I loved her smile, it was the happiest smile in the world, like liquid joy.

Merlin, I'm getting sappy. However, after what it took to get Hermione to go out on a date with me, I think I've earned it.

"Do you, Hermione Jean Granger, take this wizard to be your magically and lawfully wedded husband?" She caught my eyes, her chocolate ones were full of tears and sparkling brightly.

"I do." She said quickly, her voice emotional and quiet. A thrill shot through me as Percy raised his wand and smiled. It had happened, she'd said I do. Hermione had actually said I do!

"Do you have the rings?" Percy asked. George stepped forward with a grin and handed me the ring. I held it with shaky fingers, and then to my greatest horror, I dropped the bloody thing. My eyes grew wide and I just stared at the grass in annoyance. How could I drop the ring? I'd finally gotten the girl to come to the altar, and I dropped the ring!

I knelt down quickly and started running my hands through the grass, but I couldn't find it. A hand on my shoulder stopped me and I looked up to see George holding out his wand.

"May I?" He asked with a grin on his face. I stood back up, blushing. How had I not thought of that? George grinned even wider and mumbled 'accio.' The ring flew up and he deftly caught it before handing it back to me.

"Okay," Percy said, fighting back a smile. "Repeat after me, Fred. With this ring I thee wed." I held the ring in still shaking fingers and slipped it on her steady hand.

"Hermione, repeat after me. With this ring, I thee wed." She said the line and slipped the ring on my shaking hand with a little bit of difficulty.

"By the power invested in me by the Ministry of Magic, I declare you magically and lawfully wedded." He circled his wand over us and I felt the magical bindings put on us. It was neat, I felt a slight pull towards Hermione, it was like I now had internal compass, I knew where she was.

"You may kiss the bride." Percy said, finally coming to the part of the ceremony I had most been looking forward too. I smiled wickedly and leaned towards Hermione, wrapping my arms around her waist. Her eyebrows raised for a moment before she smiled and leaned forward. Our lips met and we sealed the vows and magic. Fireworks sounded all around us, earning a startled squeak from Hermione. We broke the kiss a moment later and Hermione instinctively looked up. It was a beautiful night, the moon was bright and thousands of stars lit the night. The firework display George and I had set up out shone them both though. Hundreds of hearts lit the sky and they formed two letters, and H and a F. George had laughed when he heard what I had planned but he'd followed through and helped me.

Hey, I was going all out, I was only going to get married once. Besides, Hermione was worth it. When she saw the fireworks in the sky a grin broke out across her lips and she let out a happy laugh. That was the best sound in the world. Percy even let out a laugh.

"I now announce, Mr. and Mrs. Fred Weasley!" He bellowed, and Hermione and I ran back down the aisle.

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"I must say, Mrs. Weasley, you dance divinely." I said, grinning like a maniac as I twirled around with my wife. It was supposed to be a slow song, but I was spinning her around in my own silly dance and I was earning deep belly laughs from her on account of it. I was on cloud nine, I was married to the most beautiful witch, and she was happy. I hadn't even had to beg!

"You dace extraordinarily, Mr. Weasley." She replied, laughing when I dipped her. The song ended and I pulled her back up right, leaning in for a quick kiss.

"Might I have the next dance?" Harry questioned behind me. I winked at Hermione before spinning around and bowing to Harry.

"Why yes you may." I grinned again and grabbed his hand, spinning around with him. Hermione laughed behind me while Harry looked surprise. I dropped his hand after one moment and stepped back, letting him dance with my wife.

Merlin I loved the sound of that. 'My wife.'

"You are grinning like an idiot." George said behind me, his own voice betraying his excitement and happiness. I turned towards him, not bothering to suppress my smile.

"Of course I am, it's not every day that I marry a brilliant, beautiful witch, and beat my twin in a bet."

"What?" he asked, taking his eyes off Hermione and Harry's dancing forms.

"You heard me, I beat you in a bet." I replied, grinning mischievously. He raised his eyebrow and shook his head.

"I've no idea what you are talking about, Freddie."

"Come on, you remember. It was that day in WWW, the day I told you I was going to marry Hermione. You laughed and said no way." His eyes lit up in realization and he laughed _again_.

"You'd have laughed at yourself and said no way as well. You were pathetic and crazy." He said, waving his hand as though the matter was of no importance.

"Yeah, well this pathetic and crazy man got her to say hello and I do."

"Feel better?" he asked, smiling at me like he thought I was crazy. I nodded my head, fighting back a grin.

"Loads."

_A/N: Well, that was lots of fun to write! Let me know if you have any story suggestions or ideas. I love reading your thoughts and comments, so please leave a review!_

_Michief Managed,_

_-Wizards Pupil_


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